Being the first child and an only daughter automatically comes with a truckload of expectations. Having to be dependable is a quality I developed over time. Growing up with three younger brothers taught me the importance of being available and dependable. It meant being there for my brothers when they needed to own up to something silly they had done they could trust that I’ll broach the topic with our parents tactfully. Then again, it wasn’t just for my brothers but for my parents too, after all, who better to trust to talk the boys straight other than dear big sister – Joanne.

I find that being dependable is a quality that a lot of people possess to varying degrees for a number of reasons whether intentionally or unintentionally and as with a lot of things in life, it comes with its share of highs and lows.

With this post, I’m taking a slightly different approach as I have chosen to hear from two of the most dependable people I know. Abra and Hassan have chosen to share how they’ve had to cruise through the course of dependability and what it means to them both at home and work. 

Abra says – “Being dependable is being there when the people who matter need you. I believe that it epitomizes some form of virtue in one’s character. A guiding principle for me is that the measure you give should be the measure you get although holding on to this principle in the society we live is one surefire way of setting yourself up for disappointment.

I believe that I owe it to my friends and family to be there for them. It is making sure that I can be reliable and that those who need me understand that they can trust my presence.

Cons: There are times when I can’t be there for others but it registers in my mind as an obligation and I find myself making extreme adjustments to meet the needs of people who require me to sacrifice my time or other resources. I find it interesting how people find it easy to say no without giving the matter too much thought because for them it is just an inconvenience that can’t be accommodated at the time. Being trustworthy and dependable means that to a large extent I put others first before myself.

Pros: Dependability is a good mark of character. People know your yes is your yes and know they can always count on you when they call on you. Then again, you don’t always get a medal for that, simply do it because it brings you some level of joy or satisfaction.

I have learnt to be dependable because I can and not because I necessarily expect the same from others. It has become a part of my core and because it is something I enjoy doing it is not much of a challenge. For my friends, loved ones and people in my close circle I have a personal obligation to always be there, to be that shoulder people can lean on when they need one.”

Hassan says – “Dependability is a self-taught principle, something that is integral to every area of my life including the work place.

I don’t see being dependable as an inconvenience but as a part of friendship and part of committing to whatever I have chosen to do. Whether it’s dealing with a task, or my colleagues, being dependable means that I will always deliver on my commitment.

Dependability has become a part of my life and has shaped my personal brand. I always ensure that my word is my bond and I don’t let people down.

Lows: People are so used to me coming through for them or helping them through their issues that they find it difficult when I have to deal with personal issues.

When I speak to people about challenges I’m dealing with, the general misconception is that I’ll get through it and I’ll be okay. Dependable people also need people they can depend on when they’re going through life’s challenges.

As a dependable person, I tend to forge closer friendships with people as dependable as I am because they have a strong understanding of the underlying challenges.

Highs: Even though I don’t remember intentionally setting out to become dependable, I wouldn’t trade the quality for anything. It is a quality I apply to every area of my life. In the workplace, for instance, people can trust the work I do which means I do not need to be micro-managed to achieve set targets. The goal is for people to be able to believe in whatever I put my name to because being dependable over time has given them room to trust my judgment.”

I hope you found the experiences shared above valuable. You already know that as much as I love to write, I also love to read from you. What are some of the experiences you’ve had with being dependable or finding dependable people? Do you find it easy depending on people? 

X.O


23 Comments

Youbee · May 12, 2020 at 8:44 pm

I can so relate with what Hassan has said, i could have easily felt I wrote that.
Being dependable is a rare quality these days and people just feel you will be alright as you always have things covered.
No!!! sometimes we just need others we can depend on.
Nice read Joanne…

    Evie · May 14, 2020 at 8:22 am

    This post is so relatable. I have had to learn, unlearn and relearn when it comes to this topic of dependability. Abra and Hassan’s opinions are valid! I can also relate to Okeynfu’s comment; people inherently want reliability from you but fail to extend the same measure of reliability. We are all humans, dependable people deserve some level of accountability too.

    I totally enjoyed reading this post Jo… xx

      Joanne · May 15, 2020 at 11:38 pm

      Hey Evie.

      I’m so glad that you found this post worthwhile.

      Just like you, Okeyinfu and a lot of people have expressed – I don’t think receiving the same measure of dependability/reliability is too much to ask for.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      X.O

Okeyinfu · May 12, 2020 at 9:04 pm

This post is so close to my heart. Firstly I am generally a ride or die type of chic but I find that as Abra said, expecting people to do the same is a recipe for disaster. This is really sad because we should expect some measure of return.

However as Hassan said, we do it because it is who we have become; an integral part of who we are.

Though things for me:

1. How do I explain to people that being dependable means sometimes, I have say no especially when I see that an action has the potential to hurt you.

2. How do you get people to understand the importance of being dependable and owning that character trait?

Enough of my rambling. Thank you so much Joanne

    Joanne · May 13, 2020 at 9:51 am

    Hello Okeynfu,

    I’ll attempt to answer your questions:
    1. I believe that means you’re being responsible and you care about the person. Chances are that they’ll realize that you were looking out for them all along.

    2. Somethings are better experienced than taught. People may think you’re trying to get them to understand the importance of dependability for your personal gain. However, when being dependable becomes their only choice; they’ll get to it without being told.

    Thank you for your contribution.
    X.O

Elizabeth Okwuosa · May 12, 2020 at 9:22 pm

Yet another great post! Some very wise words from Abra and Hassan. Hassan stated a bitter truth when saying, “dependable people also need people they can depend on when going through life’s challenges”. In the world we live in, its so easy to get caught up in/with your own personal issues, forgetting others may be going through the same or possibly even worse experiences. Lessons learnt – to make a conscious effort to be there for others regardless of my current state/feelings and to treat others just the way I would want to be treated.

    Joanne · May 13, 2020 at 9:54 am

    Hello Elizabeth,

    I’m glad both accounts resonate with you and you took something away.

    Thank you so much for stopping by.

    X.O

Soba · May 13, 2020 at 8:37 am

This post strikes a cord in me because “being dependable” has always been a way of life for me. I totally agree with Hassan on some many levels.i also believe dependability is self-taught,and as time goes on it becomes an integral part of our being..It’s also a sad fact that it is difficult to find those whom you can depend on as well..I am privileged to have a twin whom I depend on but sometimes that isn’t enough because I have a lot of people who depend on me for so many things,some as little as making them smile or even being their unofficial dictionary,lol…At the end of the day,it’s a choice..A good read Joanne👏

    Joanne · May 13, 2020 at 11:10 am

    Hello Soba,

    It’s truly one of those qualities that easily becomes a part of ones character. Plus you’re right, sometimes we need more people to depend on for various reasons.

    I’m glad you could relate to this post.

    Thanks Soba.

    X.O

Azumme · May 13, 2020 at 9:54 am

This really hits the spot…it can be so hard to say no though

    Joanne · May 13, 2020 at 11:21 am

    Very true Azumme. It’s easier said than done but sometimes you’re left with no choice.

    I’m glad you found the post impactful.

    Thank you for stopping by

    X.O

Moni · May 13, 2020 at 6:38 pm

‘Dependable people need people to depend on too’📌
I felt that.

    Joanne · May 13, 2020 at 8:39 pm

    Major point!

    Thanks for stopping by Moni.

    X.O

JF · May 13, 2020 at 9:58 pm

I can totally relate with abra and Hassan.
As someone who’s always found it hard to say no even when it’s practically bending me beyond my own limit, I’m learning that you can be dependable and still set boundaries. This I find makes me not see dependability as an inconvenience.
Thanks Jojo👌

    Joanne · May 14, 2020 at 10:49 am

    Love that last line… setting boundaries is key.

    Thanks for sharing Jane.

    X.O

Tilly · May 14, 2020 at 1:02 am

I can relate to A & H on different levels. With Abra it is the having to inconvenience myself so as to ensure those who depend on me are sorted thereby putting my own needs in second place. Like Hassan aptly said “Other who have a dependable friend believe they would be fine because they always come through for others! “Dependable people also need dependable friends & family too

    Joanne · May 15, 2020 at 11:47 pm

    Spot on Tilly. Dependable people need dependable people!

    Glad you found this post relatable.

    Thank you for stopping by.

    X.O

rhed · May 14, 2020 at 7:09 am

this was a lovely read Jo’. I especially can relate with Hassan. I try very much to be dependable, most importantly with what I say/promise. it’s still a bit of a struggle when you can’t quite control the situation, but it’s a good work in progress.

    Joanne · May 15, 2020 at 11:41 pm

    Hello Rhed,

    True, certain situations are beyond control. I believe it’s up to those who depend on you to trust that all things being equal you’d be there for them.

    I’m happy you enjoyed the post.

    Thank you for stopping by.

    X.O

Sanni Oremeyi · May 14, 2020 at 5:16 pm

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on… ”
This in my opinion, basically sums up the term ‘dependability’ . The ability to help other people carry on (especially) through turbulent times is dependability. The privilege of having a shoulder to lean on is also dependability. May we not be found wanting whenever a shoulder is needed. Amen 🙏

    Joanne · May 15, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    Mummy with the lyrics lol!

    Thank you for sharing.

    X.O

Okiemute · May 17, 2020 at 2:32 pm

Story of my life, lol…
As a first born and only sister to three brothers, I too grew to be dependable .
However saying No when we have to, is OK too.

Nice read Joanne.

    Joanne · May 17, 2020 at 5:47 pm

    Absolutely! No harm in knowing when to say no.

    Thanks for stopping by Okiemute.

    X.O

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